"A Promise Kept"

Our children depend on it

To all the Mothers and Fathers out there, I would like to share a memory that I will always cherish about honoring my promise to my little girl when she was three years of age, who is now 18. I hope that you will draw some strength and patience from it as you try to put a smile on your child's face during a very sad time in their lives as well as yours. Durning this time in my life, I was not very happy and I wanted out of our marriage. But when my little girl came up to me and asked with tears streaming down from her beautiful brown eyes, "was it my fault daddy?" These words from her not only broke my heart, but it shattered it in a million different pieces. Trying to be strong for her after I realized how much she had been suffering in silence, I promised her it was not her fault and that I was going to show her just how happy she made me feel, by buying a annual pass to Disneyland for the both of us. It meant so much for me to keep my promise to her, no matter how much energy that I had to muster up. I was going to do everything that I could to prove to her that she was my little angel and the problems that I had with her mommy had nothing to do with her.

So here we were at Disneyland just as I had promised my little girl. After about three hours it started to become extremely hot and a record breaking day for the crowds. And my little 3 year old angel did not have a nap that day and she was getting a little fustrated because she wanted to stay awake and she kept trying to fight from going to sleep. She was becoming a little irritable, to say the least, and I sat down with her on the park bench beside the Alice in Wonderland ride beside the Matterhorn, also known as the Bobsled.

 I asked her why she would not take her nap since it was obvious she needed one. She said because she was afraid that if she went to sleep and when she woke up that she would not be in Disneyland again. The truth is she was probably right. I did not know this meant so much for her to stay since she was so tired.

I knew her joy meant so much to me. So I made her a promise that if she would take a nap, that when she woke up she would still be in Disneyland, and that we would party as long as she wanted. She looked at me and said, "you promise!"  My daughter knows that I will never break a promise, so I said to her, I promise. Even thou it was hot outside, God allowed us to be comfortable. I knew she normally took a hour nap and she would be up and running in no time.

Over two and a half hours went by, and they were a long two and a half hours because I could not move to get a drink or I might wake her. During this long period of waiting, I pondered the thoughts of how much pain and suffering did my little girl go through, since at this time her mommy and I were both separated and living apart.

 And then my 3 year old little girl started to wake up from the longest nap that I can remember. For a moment my little angel forgot that she was still in Disneyland as she was facing a bush that was behind the park bench we were both sitting on. I looked at her, studying her every expression as she took both of her little hands and started to rub both of her eyes. I stood their in complete awe, wondering if she knew she was still at the happiest place on earth.

Then she heard some people and she turned around and she started to beam with the biggest smile on her face just like the one she had when she told me she knows how to keep mommy and daddy together. She yelled "We're at Disneyland!" and she literally ran across the park bench and jumped into my arms knowing that I would catch her. And she said to me as she was hugging me, "You kept your promise!"

All I wanted to say to all the fathers and mothers out there is this. Even when your going through the lowest moments of your life such as a divorce or separation, remember parents don't just divorce, children do too. Keep your promise with your children, mend their broken hearts and I promise that the shared joyful memories over the years will be priceless. 

I could have left the park while my little girl was sleeping, and I would have broken her heart all over again. Let's not remind them of the pain and suffering of the separation that we go through. And the best part would be teaching our child(ren) that when daddy or mommy makes a promise to them, It's a promise kept, especially when you promise to do something with them.

As an adult we can come up with many reasons why were too busy to do things with our children, but to them, this may be the only important thing that is helping them cope in a time that is literally crushing their little spirits why mommy and daddy don't love each other anymore, the truth is it's not their fault.

As we closed the park that evening and it was time for everyone to leave, it started to rain hard, we had no rain gear with us and we could not find where we parked our car. I started to silently pray for God to help us, I was so concerned that my little girl who was getting soaked would remember this day as a day of bitterness from literally getting drenched. I prayed that she would have happy thoughts about this day with her dad. 

We were pretty much soaked by now and I still could not find the car and I was still holding my little girl's hand tightly so she would not fall and just like that my little girl smiled at me and said to me, "daddy I can find the car." as it started to rain even harder, I said how since she was so little? She said to me; "if you put me on your shoulders daddy, I can find the car."

 I was taken back from the joy on her angelic face, my completely soaked to the bone little girl was having fun with her dad who was so worried about her. 

She was right, she did see the car first, what she did not see because of the pouring rain was the tears of joy streaming down my face thanking God, for the wonderful time and for the joy filled memories that filled my little daughters's heart and mine this day. Hoping that she will never believe or ask me again if the reason that I wanted a divorce was my little angel's fault.  A blessed day of healing that started with a promise kept. 

By the grace of God I did not get a divorce, He heard my little angels tearfilled prayer and we got back together in one month. I will always remember the pain, suffering, and the overwhelming grief that we went through. I do not regret anything that I have been through in my life because God has always been there for me. This painful moment in my life, no matter how brief it may seem was incredibly painful for me and my family. My heart and my prayers will always go out to those who are thinking of getting a divorce or have already done so. I ask that you give it completely over to God and have the spirit of cooperation and humility so that you can truly heal and forgive each other. May we leave our pride at the front door of our hearts and only allow the cherished thoughts, words and memories that had originally brought each of us to a place where our sacred vows of "For better or for worst" mean a happy marriage isnt just about going through the good times, but working things out through the worst of times.

God believes in you

 Reverend Michael Cartwright